6 |
Betseyannspikes, Girl Reporter Who was Betseyannspikes? Beats
me. We know she was a man, a miner, and old enough to know Chinook.
Beyond that . . .
Student of the Old School. Willer Springs Minin Camp. April 14, 1893
Mr. Edetor:--I wuz gist thinkin az maby yer wood like ter here frum
heresabouts, and az thar is no one az seems ter hav the currage to
skribble a fu lines to yer paper, I gist made up mi mind ter rite a
short letter. Sez I ter mi self, Betseyannspikes? sez I, yer orter
skribble ter that ar Medford
Mail, an
giv that ar gentlemen what nuze yer kin, kaze theze peple what's liven
so far frum any whar, sez I, may hav kin folks sum whar in the wurld
that wood be glad ter no uv thar wherzabouts, sez I thar's Jim Burdzy
who ust to be shurif, and D. Mardon, hez minin on Kanes Kreek, he sez
heel clean up mor'n a thozen dollers this spring in his plaster mine.
Mackdugal iz worken on hiz plaster mine an haz a bull gang uv men at
work in hiz mine, heez got a higolick pipe and the way it slings durt
is a site. I guess he will hav a bushell of the yaller stuf when he get
done kleanin up. Now Mr. Edetor it may seem strang ter ye of gittin a
letter from one on mi age an secks, but yer remember yer sed in yer
tuther paper, tuther day that ever boddy ort ter advertize in the Male, an
sez I, Betseyannspikes, sez I, yer hav bin a widder fur so long, yer
had beter take this opperchunity ter let yer self be nown, sez I. Oh!
Ed. I furgot to tell yer that thar is goin ter be a splisen ["splicing"--a wedding],
az we uzed
ter call it in our yung days, over in bumblebes flat nex weak, sure an
sartin. Now Ed. nex time I skribble I will give yer all the nuze
heresabouts, and more tu, hopen yer will karect mistakes, I am yourn az
ever.
BETSEYANNSPIKES
Medford
Mail, April 28, 1893, page 1
Student of the Old School.
Willer
Springs, Or., May 2.
Well, Mr. Edeter, I thot I wood gist skribble yer a few lins ter let
yer no I am wel, and at home, and hope theze fu lines ma find yer the
same. I am so ekseted over minin I don't no as I kin tel the truth er
not. Since I skribled my last ter yer tha hav bin striken nu minds all
over the kentry. I specks yer hurd afore this uv Mister Hurshburgur
striken it orful rich, gist tuther side uv Bumble Flat, as how Mister
J. S. Howerd, uv Medfurd, got so ecksited over it bekaze he thot it wuz
on hiz land, and he kum down from Medfurd and slicked up some noteses
on the treze notifyen everybody ter not trezpas on that ar land, kaze
it wuz hiz. Necks time he kum down he fecht hiz kumpus and sited long
the line, and he mist Hurshburgher's hole morn tu fete. They say the
rock is rich, orful rich, and Mister Howerd haz sent sum uv the rock to
the kimist tu hav it skandleized, and as sune az it kums back
heel no what's in it. Ean Roten plowd all day an planted taters last
Sundy and thot it wuz Saterday. Ean sez if he kan find the man az
started the report uv him striken such a big pocket, the man will find
hiz self at haf mast, heels upward kicken at the starze. John Hardin
sold out his haf interest in hiz plaster mine in Macdugle's Flat, tu
Mister George Haul, of Medfurd, but heze got haf interest in a nuther
won gist as gude. Mr. Gorge Allen, uv Medford, iz down hear waren the
back neeze of his breches out huntin for a pocket, and heal find it tu.
Jurde Brown haz tuke Mackdugle tu raze, how sum ever, az long az Mack
staze in the kentry. Yer orter se Dockter Braden, the man az owns the
big quarts mill and assey offis, him and Bill Swinden is taren the
gable end out uv Paddey's hill huntin fur the yaller stuf. Mr. Brient,
who gist lives next house below Mackdugle's, iz hed over heals in the
mud and water, plaster minen. He kleaned up a big wad tuther day, and
iz ready tu nock the stufen outen hiz drum, and sez he wore a gold bage
at the Jacksenvile turnamint 15th uv this munth. Well Ed. that ar weden
kum off sure nuf. The man's name wuz Suten, and the gal's wuz Brown.
Emit Suten and Elly Brown. Emit went and got him a spankin bran new
wagen from Bill Nye Haze, as lives in Senterpint. Bill iz agent fur
Franks brother, az lives in Portland least wize that what Emit sez. Wel
Ed., thars bin no deths here since I rit afore, bekaze no one ken spare
the time gist now, as ever body iz bizzy huntin pockets. Yourn as ever,
BETSEYANNSPIKES
Medford Mail, May
19, 1893, page 4
Student of the Old School.
Willer
Springs & Mackdugals Flat.
Mr.
Editor:--Tu day is Sunday, and I feal mour like rest thain eny thing
elce, but how-some-ever, I kinder thot I wood skrible yer a few lines
enny way, leest yer mite think I had run out uv sope, and koodent think
uv eny thing ter rite about. Well, Mr. Ed. I spoze yer hav hurd afore
this uv Bob Swindling, and Purry Notts, striken it rich? Yes, tha
struck a big pocket jist back uv Jim Burdsies ranch, on the south, jist
a weak ago ter day. When Betseyannspikes hern uv it she jist skined out
over thar rite thru the brush ter see how big a thing the boys had
diskivered. The boys wuz glad ter se me tha sed, and tha shuk my hand
and squezed it a little, like boys du sum times, yu no. Well, tha askt
me down in thar prospeck hole, an it dident take much skrutanizen to
skriminate the gold frum the rock and dirt. I axked the boys how much
gold tha tuk out, and tha sed tha spect about tu thouzen dollers, or
sumthing tu that effect. I gess yu no Bob married Purry's sister. Bob
told me what all hez goen tu du if he made a fortune. Sez he, I'm goen
to put a condetion on mi house, and run a phizian thru it, then I'm
goen ter hav a piazer in frunt uv the house, then I'm goen tu run a
revenue out tu the rode, soze I can treet mi frends more hostile when
tha kum tu see me. The tu Mister Chapmans kum over tuther day looken at
the kentry. Tha seem to be gentlemen uv no smol kapitel, and
kensiderable influence. I'de jedge frum thare apperence, bein so
gentlemanly, kourteous and soshable, tha ar uv no mean fambly, and kan
du az much bowin and skrapen az yer sitty folks. Well, Mr. Editer, it
kinder strikes me that I hav skribled anuf fur this time, let me say
tho, before I bring this tu a aklose, that thar haz bin tu more strikes
made since the Swindlen & Notts find, rite klose here tu. I
don't
now how gude tha'se, but gess tha'll average with the rest. Bob
Swindlen and Purry Notts is haven thur quartz krushed at the Dr. Braden
mill. The resultz will be made nown, peraps in the next ishue. Lawze! I
like ter furgot tu tell yer that John Hardin killed a big katamount,
twixt Mackdugal's and Bumble's Flat. Mack sed it wuz a kross betwixt a
panter and kuger. It measurd 4 foot long and more'n a fut and a haff
high. If yer ever kum down this way Ed., kum and see me. Yours az ever,
BETSEYANNSPIKES
Medford Mail, June
9, 1893, page 1
Student of the Old
School.
Willer Springs &
McDugal's Flat
Well, Mr. Editor, if I hadent promest Miss Julyannsnible ter rite this
weak fur her to the Medfurd
Mail, purhaps
I woodent uv ritten atall. You see Julyann wuz out prospecken tuther
day and she wuz digen fur all tha wuz out, huntin fur a pocket. She sed
she wuz ringen wet with swet and set down tu rest on a big bunch uv
pizen oke, and the pizen settled in hur ize which allmost extracked
her. When her ize iz allright she kin skribble az gude az any uv our
secks, when the Peeple's Party wuz in power. I mean, Mr. Editor, that
when The Mail wuz
run by that
party [and called the Southern
Oregon Mail], that Julyann uster rite fur the paper, and she wuz a gude
cumpozer tu. She tole me tu tell yer that McDugal and Johnny Mardon
diskivered and lokated seventene quorts klames in one day, betwixt
Kanes & Roten's kreek. Twazent a gude day for quorts neither.
The
water is dryen up in the hills and the prospeckters are kumen in frum
all quarters. Sum report rich finds, uthers agin report hard luck and
starvation. Jurde Brown tuk a hull lode uv little children out fishen,
pracktizen fur the forth of July. Heze a deadly old nipper on suckers
and krawfish. W. S. Gaul, one uv the old timers uv this kounty who kum
tu this kentry in the fifties, but haz bin tryin hiz luck in furen
kentrys, kem back a short time ago and is prospeckten in the Blackwell
Hills fur pockets. Ean Roten, the champion pocket hunter uv the wurld,
iz lame in one uv hiz feet. He sez it iz az krazy az a bedbug. He went
tu see Julyann tuther day--I gess you no Julyann uster be a kinder uv a
fambly fizsizshen, but she quit practizen uv late--but az I wuz goin tu
say, Ean went tu see if she could du anything fur hiz foot. She sed he
had strained it klimen mountens and tuck syattic surve bro
spinal-men-du-get-it sumtimes, kauses paralasis. Yours az ever,
BETSEYANNSPIKES
Medford Mail, June
23, 1893, page 1
Student of the Old School.
Willer Springs &
McDugal's Flat
My dear Ed.--I expect yer hav bin lookin fur me up thar afore this, and
[I] wood uv kum ter seed ye on the 4th uv Juli, but Charlie Lambrit, az
lives in Gold Hill, wuz taken to Portland to sot on the gran jewry, and
left Martin Lindley ter take hiz place, and fur sum kauze or nuther, he
never turnd up, and Wes Ingram, az lives in Willer Springs, sed it wuz
tu late tu git a bild shurt on, and it seamed like everbody (I mean the
old batches) had an exkuse uv sum kind or auther, and the fakt uv the
matter iz, I dident turn up at the Fourth az I promest yer, but I dont
want yer tu think hard uv me. I am glad Julyansnible got left tu on the
Fourth, kaze she takes it so hard. You orter hear her go fur Frank
Furgason and Winchester Huston fur sliten [slighting] her. I
wuz down tu Gold Hill
tuther day, and I kouldent hardly find the new post offise. Mr. Kridor
iz the new post office master and it seams tu du him so much gude ter
wate on hiz kussturmurs, and Mr. Deboy iz runnin a jewerly store and
barber shop in the next room ter the post offise. He kinder made a mash
on me, kaze he seams ter be in such gude humer all the time, and folks
sez its nateral fur him. Miss Amy Morelock gave a burthday nite soiree
at the Union Hotel in Gold Hill Frida nite. Uv korse none but yung
peple wuz invited, but tha had a gude time gist az hard. I hurd that
Ander Moon az lives in Sams Valley gist got back frum sum back woods
county kanvassing for the flower bin. He duzent shine az brite as he
did gist afore he started, tu give lite ter tha back woods kounty. He
sez the peple druther live in darkness, kaze thar deeds ar eavil. He
got tu orders gist the same. John Hardin went ter Gauls Creek tuther
da, and fetcht a lode uv lumber fur his new house in Medfurd. I speckt
heez goen ter put on lots uv stile when he gits ter be a sitty jude.
Well Mr. Ed., I speckt yer hern that McDugal kleaned up fourteen
hundred and eighty dollars in his plaster mine. Well Ed. if yer ever
kum down this wa, kum and see me. Yours as ever,
BETSEYANNSPIKES
Medford Mail, July
14, 1893, page 1
Student of the Old School. Gauls
Kreek & Bumblebeeze Flat
My
dear Ed:--It haz been some time since I last skribbled tu yer most
valubul papper (The
Medfurd Mail).
Uv kourse you no why I've bin absent so long. I've bin takin lessins in
chinucke [Chinook]
langage, from Professer Schackmasty Schonschin, who haz
purswaded me tu beleave I ort tu be a inturpreter fur the red men. Deer
Ed, whil my encourse with yer paper haz bin uv a verry plezent and
agreeable nature, so fur az my part uv it is konserned, and hope yourze
iz the same, sorry ter inform yer, with this ishue ends eny further
korrispendence at this place frum me. Before I kloze I want ter say I
regret tu haf ter leave this quite naborhood. Wher I live is verry
quite, no body in 2 miles of here, aint seen my best feller fur tu
weaks. Professer Schackmasty wants me ter giv yer a few items in the
old English stile, az it was taut by the old Hudson Bay traders on this
koste afore the red man waz driven frum its shores by the never ceasing
flow uv imigrashun. Now deer Ed., be karefull how yer rede it, Ize goin
tu kommence: Mika kumtux chinucke wawa? ["Do you understand the Chinook jargon?"]
Tenas oncotty nika hiack
klattawa, copa Medfurd, hiyou wawa copa micika, nika tika momuch
Illihee hias skukum muckamuck, hiyou olalles hias klose, skukum chuck,
consic chickaman mika tika hoahoa okoke culton, mika kumtux? ["A
little while ago I hurried away from Medford, plenty talking of
yours, I want to work land, much powerful food, plenty berries,
strong water, how much money you want to choke on, this is worthless,
understand me?"] Hiyou
mowich copa mowentain, hiyou momuch tipsue, nika nanage hiyou
klutchman, pealta klattawa tenas siyah. ["Plenty deer from mountain, plenty trap fur, I see plenty women, soon go a little ways off."]
Yes they had lots uv children
with them, sed thay wuz goin tu the huckleberry patch. I axt them if
they had eny objeckshuns fur ye kymin along. They sed they wood like
fur ye ter kum, but they woodent promis tu subscibe fur yer paper,
bikaze they kant understand the debthe, hithe, lenthe and bridth uv yer
wa-wa [language].
They have no use of rail rodes, irrigation ditches and minin
corporation or nuze paper speckulashens, so Ed., if her kum, talk uv
things komon, natural like you kno. Yours az ever,
BETSEYANNSPIKES
Medford Mail, August
11, 1893, page 4
Student of the Old School.
Huckleberry
Patch
My deer Ed:--I arived hear all rite side up with kare. Plenty uv
berries, but tha hint ripe az yet, plenty uv Injuns hear enjoying thar
summer's exkavashun. The seanery in Bear Holler iz very fine. The
medasine man is hear gatherin rutes and erbs tu make medasine fur
winter pracktice. I do wish Perfessor Skot Morris wood kum up hear and
teach us a fu lessens in rootany. I seed him onst, and think him a nice
gentleman, and wuz settin mi cap fur him, but Prof Schackmasty
Schonshin sed tu me, sez he: Betsey, sez he: you ort tu be ashamed uv
yer self. Sez I, why? Sez he, bekaze Prof. Morris haz got quite a smart
chance uv a family uv hiz own. Now deer Ed, yer ort tu seed my feathers
drap. I never wuz nown tu interfear betwixt a man and his wife. My deer
Ed, Salabuckleberry sends her kindest regards tu yer az follers: Nika
tika, mika wawa kopa mika mowish Ed. Charco six, nika tika wawa copa
mika. ["You me to talk with you, deer [sic] editor. Come, friemd, I want to talk with you."] If her kant rede this get Bill Nye's brother or Manafraidofabear [pen names of two other Mail
correspondents--the
former may have been George L. Hays; the latter was John B.
Griffin]
ter interprit it fur ye. Give Mackdugal my regards. Thar wuz a terable
split up among the wimmen up hear tuther day, but I spect yer have
hearn all about it afore this time. Yours az ever,
BETSEYANNSPIKES
Medford Mail, supplement,
August 25, 1893, page 1
Student of the Old School.
Huckleberry
Patch
My dear Ed:--I got your letter and wuz orfull glad ter hear frum yu,
and tu hear yu wuz well, but I iz sorry yu kouldent kum up hear last
weak tu our picknik. Miss Sallyhuckleberry, Miss Sitkum Chuck, Miss
Halo Muckamuck and mi self had things fixt up orful nice fur yer. Tell
Mr. D. S. Youngs tu kum with hiz shotgun. I've got tu snipes and a
ground hog karaled fur him. I spect if Manafraidofabear wuz hear now we
wood hav tu fix a skaffool [scaffold]
up in the top uv a tree fur him tu sleep in,
fur the bear iz thicker than grasshoppers in Kansas. Prof. Schonschin
sends his regards tu Dave Mardon, az lives in the Willer Springs. We
herd that Dave haz bonded hiz hul ranch to Mr. Chapman, uv Gold Hill,
fur a rite smart chance uv money. Well, deer Ed, I kant think uv much
tu rite this time. If yer ever kum up this wa kum and see me. Yourz az
ever,
BETSEYANNSPIKES
Medford Mail, September
1, 1893, page 2
Student of the Old School. Huckleberry
Patch and Bear Holler
My deer
Ed:--Sez I tu myself, Betseyann, sez I, yer ort tu rite again, becase
the boys in the vally iz wonderin what's bekum uv me. I got yer last
paper and wuz orfull glad tu here that Bear Hunter Youngs wore the gold
meddle at the Medfurd shuten turnament. Tell him tu charco six nicky
ticky illihee, nicka hiass skukum muckamuck nicka potalatch copa
misiahka. ["Come, friend, I want land; I give plenty food to you."] Tell Skott Griffin, uv Tolo chuck ["water"], that i am kummin
down thar this fall to trade him olallas ["berries"] for wapatoes ["potatoes"]. In the new
version uv the english language, its kalled taters, or sumthing tu that
effect. Now deer Ed, yer no me well a nuff ter no I don't want ter
kritasize anybody, and have always had a resonabool amount u affection
fur the nuter ganders [neuter
genders]
and if I have sed anything hereterfore that I iz sorry fur I am glad uv
it and must ask furgiveness fur it. Oh, Ed, I must tell yer the nuze.
Manafraiduvabear wuz up tu Mimaluce Injun tuther day huntin fur
huckleberries and kudent find eny. No wunder, Sally Mockasin sed she
wuz over thar and seed him. She told me that Manafraidofabear didn't
get out tu hunt eny fur fear he'd see a tichfoot. It iz gitting
so kold up hear I spect we will haft tu hunt winter quarters. Prof.
Schonchin and me had a split up tuther day, and I think I will move
back tu Bumblebees Flat, or down tu the mowth uv Galls Creek, neer Bill
Nye Hay's place. I node Bill a long time and heze a jolly gude
feller so he iz. I spoze yer have got squainted with Prof. Skott Morris
afore this, az lives over at Aunt Yockies. I tell her Skotty is a nice
boy, and if a man tramps on hiz korns, hede better look a leetle oude.
If thar iz eny law Skotty 'ill fitch him round. I woodent rite sich
long letters but it iz so fur down tu the vally, and we don't hav eny
male karrier, and haft tu watch our chance tu get a letter ter yer. Oh,
yes! there wuz a dandy dude uv a young feller up hear tuther day
sprouten around Suzan Huckleberry. I axt him whar he wuz frum, and he
winked one eye a little and pinted hiz thum over hiz shoulder and sed
he wuz frum the Kapital and that night he skiped out. I am no
detective, but I'll bet my old kaliker dress it wuz Bloomer, the
Jackson county trezurer [who
had recently absconded with county funds]. Well, Ed, if
yer ever kum up this way kum and see me.
BETSEYANNSPIKES
Medford Mail, September
29, 1893, page 1
We have "seed" Betseyannspikes. Such an old gal as that! As a female, we rate her below par. "Spikenard Sparks," Medford Mail, October 6, 1893, page 4 Student of the Old School.
My Dear Ed:--It hez bin an orful long time since I skribbled tu yer
most valable paper. The rezon wuz simply this dear Ed, I wuz taken down
with that pleg taked grip, or suthen o' the kind, and kame ni dien
az it wer. Well Ed., the nuze haz kum down here that Mr. Blumer, az ust
tu be the kounty trazure of Jacksin Kounty, has bin shamefully
negleckted. Mrs. Tellitall told me that she hurd that Sally Tattletail
hurd Mr. W.A.N.T. Office say that Mr. Blumer wouldent of bin disgrased
so if it hadent of bin fur hiz goin away without tellin everbody wher
he's goin. It is time the county wuz sendin him that five thousand
dollars it robbed him out uv, fur he mite be in need uv it. Dear Ed., I
seed in yer last ishu uv yer valable paper a sitkum ["part of a"] letter from Tommy
H. B. Taylor. From its ring, or tune, I'de jedge the writer hed bin
taken lessons from Prof. Schack Schonschin, az taut me and the other
squaz, last summer up in the shot o'-lil-lies ["berries"]. Ill-a-hee mika kumtux
six? ["Do you understand me, friend?"] Well, my dear Ed., if ever yu, or eny uv yer force uv Mail klerks should kum slaunterin down this wa, kum and see me. Yours as ever,
BETSEYANNSPIKES.
Medford Mail, March 9, 1894, page 2Student of the Old School.
BY BETSEYANNSPIKES. I
guess you hav herd afore this that some of the populist of Jackson
kounty who met in your beautiful city to celebrate their first
preferential convention, to nominate their kounty officers for to take
the place of the Jaxonville ring who has handled the rains fur the last
fore thousand ears, and have got the kounty in such a deplorable
condition that even Kounty Treasurer Blumer
even got disgusted and skattered himself to the 4 quarters of the earth
where no man knoweth of hiz whereabouts until this day (except his
colleagues), and the kounty owing him $5,000. I kinder got an
inspiration that he left that money with orders to place it in the
Jaxon kounty official skool to help egikate his sucksessors in orfice.
When I first red it in the nuze paper that the populist had a split up,
or misunderstanding at their konvention, I jist made up my mind that it
wuz one uv those fictitious make ups uv the Jaxonville Times, and
I sez tu miself, Betseyann, says I, why don't they give the P.P.'s a
rest? But since I hav seed so many letters published conserning their
dissatisfaction, I kame to the konklusion that there iz sumthing
dekumposed in Denmark. Now Mr. Editor, no party can stand and prosper
unless they ad one klauze to their platform, viz, "womens sufferage." I
have nothing to say against the People's Party, for they are in line
with my views, but az I sed afore, there must be sumthing rong, bekase
I understand that P.P.'s voted a resolution denouncing the Jaxonville
ring, and they put it to a rizin vote, and some uv the Jaxon kounty
officials voted tu. I would like to no when you are outside uv the ring?
Medford Mail, March 30, 1894, page 1 On the 26th the Talent Club passed a resolution that clarifies the controversy. Student of the Old School.
BY BETSEYANNSPIKES. Squaws Flat and Poor Man's Camp.
My Dear Ed:--In akkordance with our previous arrangements, I take this opportunity of skribbling yer a fu lines, which, perhaps, ma be uv use ter yu, or some interest tu the gineral publick (I mean thoze who are interested in the mining industry). You ma not be aware uv the fackt uv the which I am jist about tu promulgate (kinder privately), bekaze there haz bin some terable round heded lize told in regards tu mines, etc. I wuz at Jimmy McDougal's tuther day and tuck a walk over tu hiz higolick plaster mines. Mack haz done lots uv work this spring and expeckts tu klean up a rite smart chance uv the yaller stuff this seazon. The same day I past by Mistersers Huston & Deen's mine, and they wuz running a higolick pipe in full blast. The ground that theze gentlemen iz worken is konsidered mity skukum rich, and jist a little further on iz the celebrated Willer Springs mines az iz owned by John Baker and West Ingram, tu old batches, uv which I don't take any stock in (the batchelor part), but thair mines keeps them frum starving, and that beats farming and hens az laze skrambled eggs. J. H. Morris, Phillips and J. R. Hardin kum down here tuther day, kinder fishin around fur suthin more az a Dulcet Duenna, fur tha seemed mighty well plezed with our mines. More sum other da. Medford Mail, April 13, 1894, page 4 Student of the Old School.
BY BETSEYANNSPIKES. POVERTY FLAT, JAXON KOUNTY, OR.
Dear Ed:--I jist want ter korrect a fu mistakes that appears onst in a grate while in yer paper fur the general publick ter gaze at. One appeared tuther day, supposed tu be ritten by Mr. Devil, a wether proffit. He sed a drouth wuz a flud uv dry wether, and if yer wanted it tu rain, in order tu fetch up the garden truck, yer must hunt fur a snake uv treemendous size, hang it on a fense and it wuz sure to fotch rain. Prof. Sconschin says the Devil is goin all 'round the kentry deceiving the people, in order tu make the fokes beleve he iz havin' an eazy time--don't yer no, Dear Ed., if that wuz the case, there wud be a big demand fur snakes in this kentry? Wy, people wud go tu Afrika minin' fur snakes tu ship tu Ireland. I jist beleve that when it gits reddy tu rain, it will rain, snakes or no snakes. Medford Mail, May 25, 1894, page 4 Betsy Ann Still Lives. KUGAR'S
KOMPLEXION, May 20.
My
Deer Ed: It has bin rite smart while since I kommunikated to your most
valable paper. I speck your many reeders have wundered what bekame ov
me. Tuther day when eye was visating Smithann Stubblefeald, Mr.
Piledriver wuz riding long the rode klose to the house, and he seed me
thru the winder and he jist jumpt off his hoss and kim rite into the
house, and this was the first words he sed: "Why, bles my buttins ef
here aint old Betsey Ann Spikes," and he acted tho he wuz terrible
serprized and he bowed and skraped worser than an old hen skratchin fur
grub worms, and made az much noize az a Kansas sighclone, an sez he,
"Old Bess, wherein the nashun have you binn this here long time?"
"Well," sez eye, "Pile," sez eye, "I've bin in the Yanky nashun
busines"--old Pile useter bea yanka before he came out west to grow up
with the mountains. That sorter kinder tickled him, and he axt me more
questshuns than a fillydelfa Loryer kin answer in a weak. He sed he
jist kem from Medford, one ov the livest towns in all ov suthern
Oregon, and the Medford peple wuz fixen for a grand sellerbrashun, and
tha wood leave nothen undone that kould be done to make it a
slam-jam-lick-it-a-joe-brindle fambly afair. He axed me to be thar and
take part in the ockasion, espesshully with Kalithumphyans, and
reprasent our sex. Ov kours I am all ways willin and reddy to help on
all ockasions that will help tu further the advancement ov our rizen
gineration.
Hopen to here from you soon, I remain yours as ever, BETSEY
ANN SPIKES
Medford Mail, May
24, 1895, page 7
Youngs on a Rogue River Rock.
BY A STUDENT OF THE OLD SCHOOL. MY
DEAR ED.--Onst more on this side ov eternyti I've bin purmited to
skrible a few lines to your valable and nuzy paper. Jist now I am
sitting where I can gaze up at that notorious Table Rock,
where, so I've bin told by princes and burds, during the Rogue River
Injun war 4 or 5 men put ten thousand red skins to flight. Ed, they say
the Injuns jumpt off ov the rock 400 feet to the bottom and it ackually
killed some of the little Indians--ten-ess papoose--kum-tix, mika
Boston man?
There wuz a man down here by the name of D. S. Youngs--heze from yer town I beleve--heze konsidered to be the lukkiest fisherman (outside of Fred Barnyburg) in the state. You remember he kitcht a shark last summer at Kresent City that wuz 45 feet long with a spoon. Somehow I never beleved a man kould feed a fish with a spoon till it got so tame he kould kitch it, but the skriptures says man is fearfully and wonderfoolly made so I guess he kin do most anything. I know he kin keep us wimmin from votin, but he kant keep us from writin ter the Medford Mail or any other male. Well, Ed., I must tell you something about the downfall of D. S. Youngs. He kame down here fur to katch a fish, well he came ny onto kasting hiz last line ov life. He waded out in the river and kast hiz line at the end of 400 feet--(gist given hiz own words). He felt a nibble at the bait, give a jerk, then the war kommenced; the rock was slick and the water wuz swift out where D. S. wuz. Well I'll give it in poorertry: D. S. kould spell Mosouri homony,
Yer see, Ed., D. S.' understandin
kame in contackt with a slick boolder and that iz why he sit down in
the river to study fishonomy. After two hours he land a whale of a
salmon and when he got ashore, and seed me sittin there and kame up to
me sorter bewildered and started to raze hiz hat and make a perlite bow
but hiz hat wuz gone, it went down the river; he lookd sorter pleged
but I sympathized with him in hiz bereavement and loned him my
hunkerchef and he asked me my name, and when I told him he jist got me
by the hand and sez he: Miss Betseyannspikes, my name iz der Shame
Youngs. Yours az ever,And had studied Oregon ekonomy; But he went to the river, And as quick as a beaver Sat down to study fishonomy-- They tug; they strain; down, down they go; The fish above and D. S. below. BETSEYANNSPIKES.
Medford Mail Tribune, November 6, 1896, page 4
Student of the Old School.
KUGARS KOMPLEXSHUN, May 1.
MY
DEER ED.--Onst more, on this side ov etarnity, I've been purmitted by a
kind providence tu skribble a fu lines tu yer valleyable and nuzy
paper. Ever thing looks green down here, how is it up there? I herd it
hinted at that some peepel's eyze look green at the peepel's kounty
kommittee meeting. Now Ed, I know sum folks say nawtty things about me,
and say that I am an old hagg, and that woman iz getting beneath thar
sphere that dablez in pollyticks, and most men wants to keep them thar.
Now Ed, I've spent nights ov hard study on this subjeck and the reazon
ov the unreazonable reazoning haz so enfeebled my reazon that with
reazon I komplain, like Kaizer ov old, who haz a reckkord in the
valley, ov the skulduggerry in pollyticks. Now Ed, what I wanted tu
write you about iz this. I gist want to tell yer what I herd, and ax
yer if it waz so or not. Yer know the further yer get away from where a
story starts the bigger it gitz--especially if it ain't a good one.
This iz what I herd, that the kommittee met at Medford, in Woolf's
hall, last friday, and they had a program two hours long. The first
thing, after the house waz kalled to order, waz a song by a little bird
called Ren, and they sed it waz a nice singer az long az the audience
kept in chord, but they sed one man's voice waz shaky and would make a
diskord and that would stop the Ren (notwithstanding the man with a
diskordant voice had taken several prekripshuns at the Medford drug
shops tu cut the kobwebs from his throte). Finly he waz ordered tu stop
trying tu sing az he interfurd with the Ren, but he kept chipping in
and stopping the singing. Finly the man that had Holt on the chair sed,
sez he, "That ar man must stop or I'll call on the long arm of the
law," but jist then a man jumpt up az had orthority and sed, sez he,
"Mr. Chairman, we ain't got time ter fool with the law and its arm, but
if that feller opens that ar kave and lets out any more of them ar
unearthly sounds agin we will jist pick him up boddaly and fling him
out at ther winder." Then the Ren kommenced agin tu sing a solo, when
the korerus joined in and the man az had the shaky voice waz seized by
three other men and throwed out ov the hall into the aunty room; from
thar the poor feller fell into the hands ov the sheriff who sent him
slam jam, licketty Joe Brindle, head over heels down a rickety pair ov
stairz tu the bottom, where he found himself all in a pile. At the same
time thar waz a rumpus up stairz betwixt Houzzer and Kaizer--one ov 'em
haz a reckkord in the valley, and tuther one haz a reckkord in the last
legislater, leastwize that's what I've bin told. Next day the man with
a shaky voice paid the city rekorder fur the trouble he had put the
offersurs tu and went on hiz ways rejoicing. More next time.
From your loving skribe, MISS BETSEYANNSPIKES. Medford Mail, May 7, 1897, page 3
Hobbie Mountain.
MY
DEAR ED.--I thot az I sot here on this rock I wud skrible you a few
lines. My mind is wandering far away to the distant Klondyke
isay
mountains, where the moose, elk and carraboo skip und play, unmolested
by the crack of the hunter's rifle. Ive just thot perhaps somewhere
there iz that Heaven the ministers talk about. You know they say the
streets are paved with gold and the saints, or wage earners, shall walk
on a sea of ice, most of us imagined we had to dye for to see that
wunderfull place beyond the klouds, which I imagine iz nuthing more
than the fog of Washington in the Sound kuntry, now, Ed? I dont glaim
ter be an exigesys or a theologon, but Ive a rite tu my thery az a
theriest, and the skripters sez thar iz no nite thar, now, Ed? Ide like
ter no if that dozent korrispond with the Klondyke kuntry. You no the
skripters dont say anything about thermomaters or any other modern
appliances, used by astronomers now adaze. Professor sor de [Otto von]
Bendeleben onst traveled all over Alaska and the British-American gold
fields and sez he found a hul mountun of yaller gold. He speeks ov ice,
snow and glacio formashuns and hidden tresures richer by far than
anything yet diskivered, no angry gods thar, no river Gangus fur the
Hindoo which ter cast inosent babies in ter be eat up by the alligators
and krockadiles ter appeaze the wrath ov thar angry Gods. The most
feroshus animales thar iz the moskiters and British mounted parlice,
who is alwayze trying ter get thar bill in first afore yer are settled
down komfortable fur business, but thay are ezy brushed off, you no. I
want ter tell ye, people iz getting thar ize open to the fact that we
dont have ter dye ter see the promiced gold fields of Alaska, but jist
have faith in the stories told by the hundreds who haz bin thar and
returned with the promiced reward of thar labors, and go and do
likewise. As fer me and my pard, J. H. Miller, weze agoin thar--"in the
spring, you say?" No sir, weze agoin in a boat part way, and the
balance the way--we'll jist git thar and dont forget it.
From yer loven BETSEYANNSPIKES. Medford Mail, August 13, 1897, page 5 In 1897, "hobby" meant "foolishness." Who was Betseyannspikes? Another
mystery finally solved:
Hy-as ty-ee [i.e., big chief] Betseyannspikes John R. Hardin . . . is at home to all friends. His place embraces two and a half acres of land, and it is well cultivated and planted to fruit trees and shrubbery. He has a fine residence and is daily adding improvements to his splendid home. John is a miner in every sense of the word, and turns many an honest dollar to good use from that direction. His congeniality knows no bounds, and he continues to make new friends. "Notes from East Medford," Medford Mail, March 29, 1895, page 8 And . . . On Wednesday of last week the citizens of Eagle Point were treated to a genuine entertainment by the Star Minstrels, of Medford. Notwithstanding the rain and mud, the fame of the company had preceded them, and by 7:30 the hall was quite well filled. Judging from the remarks made by different ones in the audience, the company covered themselves with laurels. Messrs. Lynch and Frenna were spoken of as especially good, while John Hardin, nee Betsy Ann Spikes, was one of the leading characters and carried his part out to perfection. A. C. Howlett, "Eagle Point Eaglets," Medford Mail, February 18, 1898, page 5 Last
revised October 28. 2019
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